Do you know the feeling when someone (often your loving parents or partner) quenches your enthusiasm that you finally start living your life and making your own choices? Most probably yes, we all know it. Meanwhile, nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm and dreams. 

Returning to your hometown can be a challenge at times.

One of my clients has just returned much frustrated from a holiday in her home country. She recently decided to change her career path and pursue her dreams, values, and life vision. This gave her a lot of empowerment and motivation.Going on vacation, she just wanted to rest and recharge her batteries to start implementing her new ambitious plans when she returned to Brussels.

Meanwhile, instead of relaxing and resting during the holidays, she met with a lot of resistance, pressure and well-meaning but unsolicited advice from her parents and family back home. They couldn’t understand her current decisions. Why would you quit such a good, stable job? How can you resign from a high salary that gives you security and stability? You have put so much effort into it: you studied, passed a stiff competition, moved to another country. And finally: we wanted you to become an official (a lawyer, a corporate worker), as we used to be. We invested in your education so that you can go further. And now what? Aren’t you afraid?? And what if you FAIL???

Criticism from parents is always the worst to stand. Because despite everything, even if we live away from home and have our own lives, no matter our age, we remain their children who want to be selflessly loved. At the same time, we get mad when ur parents still try to control us. We feel that they limit our freedom and steer our choices. Even if we do not give up on our decisions, we prefer to get support instead of criticism.

Change your approach

We all live in a social context. People are judging and advising us. Our parents, partners, bosses, colleagues, and friends – all think they know what’s best for us and how we should behave. But the thing is that they see our lives through their lenses. They don’t sit in our heads and hearts and have no clue about our drivers. They project their experiences, beliefs, weaknesses and stereotypes into our lives. They are driven by personal fears, prejudice, limits, and sometimes jealousy. That is why we shouldn’t let others steer our lives. Taking charge of our lives means refusing to be swayed by external opinions.

Don’t allow anyone to affect what you do.

You won’t stop others from judging you—this is how the world is. But you can change your approach. You can liberate yourself and become independent in your choices.
People criticise what you do. So what? Today they think this, tomorrow, they will think that. People are primarily concerned with themselves and their fragile egos. They focus much more on their own business than on other people’s lives. They are human as you are, feeling weak or scared sometimes, having limitations or no vision, and needing love and encouragement. Just as you do. So let others go their own way and focus on what is vital for yourself. Make sure you feel fulfilled and satisfied with your life in 20 years because nobody else will cry over it.

Does it resonate with you?

We all go through ups and downs in life. We recover, we lose, and then we regain our strength and independence again. It’s human, and it makes us grow. Are you facing a difficult time and need support to regain your motivation? Get in touch with me.