If you expect from life only good things, you are an optimist. But if you think your life will treat you exceptionally, sparing you pain, disappointment and breakdowns, you are an uncurable dreamer. Moreover, without all these unwanted, painful situations, you would never grow as a human and know the authentic taste of life. So, better prepare yourself to face challenges since it’s up to you to deal with them successfully.

Defence mechanisms

Starting from childhood, we develop natural defence mechanisms to deal with stress, unwanted events or criticism and learn to emerge victoriously from challenging situations. But only a conscious bet on growing your mental strength brings actual results.

Lucky or strong?

We often look at people who show strength of character and admire how they deal with reality, solve problems, and how everything seems easy for them. Sometimes, we say they’re lucky. No, they’re not lucky. Life does not spare them, just like all of us. But they know how to deal with it better.

You must manage yourself before you can lead someone else. Zig Ziglar

See 15 ways of mentally strong people to deal with adverse situations:

1. Mentally strong people know that nothing comes for free. They are committed to every effort, sacrifice and hard work if they want to achieve something (nobody runs a marathon without everyday training and sweat). They act instead of hesitating, procrastinating, and doubting. They are self-disciplined and keep going. They persevere.
2. In the face of difficulty, mentally strong people set priorities and adapt to the changing conditions. They use energy wisely, not allowing the upsurge of pressure to overwhelm them into taking unproductive, chaotic or destructive actions.
3. Mentally strong people trust themselves. They motivate and encourage themselves without checking their worth with the external world. They know that the most excellent source of resilience is their willpower and inner strength – so they make sure to grow them daily.
4. They are accountable. They feel responsible for their decisions and actions and don’t blame others for their failures. They know how to admit their mistakes, apologise and improve.
5. Mentally strong people don’t focus on the obstacles. Instead, they jump on opportunities and make the best out of them. They accept challenges as part of life, keep in mind what they want to achieve and constantly seek solutions. Rather than worrying about a million things they have no control over, they focus on the one thing they can control – this empowers them and gives them a sense of ability.
6. Mentally strong people know their skills, strengths and abilities and use them according to the situation. They focus on what they can instead of what they can’t. They don’t treat it as a failure if they don’t feel capable in some area. They know nobody is perfect.
7. Mentally strong people don’t compare themselves with others because they are confident enough to go their way.
8. They detach themselves from the situation. If they face an unfortunate event, they separate the facts from emotions. Instead of dwelling on negativity and contemplating the disaster from the point of their wounded ego, they focus on the facts, looking for helpful responses, often showing empathy towards others. As Winston Churchill said: “If you go through hell, keep going.”
9. They see the big picture instead of the details. Getting perspective always helps. Focusing on the painful moment only makes the pain more robust. Mentally strong people know that everything in life passes eventually, and the universe and time are more significant than a single situation or themselves.
10. Mentally strong people quit if they see that the environment is toxic or the situation doesn’t serve their lives. They choose their struggles wisely because they know that sometimes it’s better to leave things behind and engage their energy somewhere else. They value freedom of choice and independence as an indispensable ground for their growth.
11. They constantly learn new skills, are open to change and remain flexible. Curiosity, learning, and adaptability to changing environments are the superpowers of mentally strong people.
12. Mentally strong people appreciate others. They are driven by a positive approach and openness rather than jealousy, resentment and fear. Instead of obsessing about themselves, they see the value of others, learning from them or helping and supporting them, if needed. They appreciate the social environment and bonding with people as a source of growth and fulfilment. They do try to control others. They express gratitude and reciprocate.
13. They always stand up even if they fall, as we all do occasionally. Mentally strong people try to look at failure as an occasion to learn. If they go through grief, they try to see a hidden gift at the end of it, no matter if they experienced the loss of a beloved, work, home or dreams. They rise like a phoenix from the ashes, wiser, stronger and more mature.
14. Mentally strong people are aware of their emotions and moods. Rather than denying or suppressing their feelings, they observe themselves and learn how to manage their mind and inner states. They grow their ability to shift negativity into positivity. They practice self-care, knowing that physical and mental energy is not an inexhaustible source and must be renewed.
15. And last but not least, mentally strong people set up the environment for success. They think strategically, choose wisely and don’t waste energy on activities of no importance (like scrolling social media for hours). In this context, inaction is also action.

What about you?

How do you assess your mental strength on a scale from 1 to 10? Imagine yourself in 5 or 10 years.  What would you be able to achieve if you were mentally stronger?